The ages of the people involved and the ages of the viewers are key facts. Rather than post them here on this public web site, it might be best to see an attorney. Civil statutes are not "violate" but rather may show causes of action, that is, the basis for lawsuit, as well as common law bases for lawsuit. Criminal law can result in arrest and trial, as you know, and you attorney would be the best one to advise you whether or not you are safe in contacting the police.
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I agree with Mr. Poulson...you did not mention the ages of the individuals involved...you should talk to an attorney if this is something you are steadfast to do...but why post it.
I am an Arizona attorney. AVVO does not pay us for our responses. Simply because I responded to your question does not mean I am your attorney. In Arizona a non-lawyer is held to the same standards as an attorney so there are dangers to representing yourself. This is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as legal advice. If you require legal assistance an in depth discussion of your case is needed as there are many other issues to consider such as defenses, statute of limitations, etc.
The importnce of seeking advice from a criminal defense attorney who regularly appears in both federal and state court cannot be over emphasized. The potential penalties are potentially life long and very unpleasant.
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I just have to ask, why in the world would you want to? Based on your wording it is clear that it is you that is thinking about posting this and I just don't get why you would want to do this. If you had any sort of decency and/or respect for this woman while you were dating you wouldn't even consider this.
That said, the above attorneys are correct- you need to speak with both a civil and criminal defense attorney because you could possibly be subject to federal and state civil and criminal action. Again, if this person trusted you enough to engage in sexual activity and allow you to record it, either destroy the tape or keep it for your own viewing pleasure, but don't think once you hit the "return" key and post that video that you have any control over what happens to it and that you haven't negatively affected the rest of someone's life.
Answers on Avvo are for general information purposes only and should not be relied upon as legal advice. No attorney / client relationship is created by providing this answer. For specific advice about your situation, you should consult a competent attorney of your choosing