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Is it illegal for a 23 year old to be dating a 16 year, and within that dating, kiss, hug and caress a minor?

San Diego, CA |

My Sister is now 17 years old, but while she was still 15, a then 21 year old began courting her. They went behind my parents back and he actually arranged various meetings with her in which they kissed, cuddled and caressed. Her attitude has changed with us and we discovered various e-mails in which he would incite her to rebel against my parents. Is there any legal recourse that we can use to keep him away from her? We tried talking to him and he never saw anything wrong with it. He is controlling, manipulative and even has control of her e-mail and social media passwords as to not allow any other guys to talk to her.
Please Advise!!

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Attorney answers 2


It is illegal for an adult to to what this "boyfriend" is doing. Dating in and of itself is not illegal. Touching a minor , including kissing, for the purpose of sexual arousal is not legal. Suggest that parents call cops and speak with a civil attorney about the possibiity of a restraining order.

The above is not intended as legal advice. The response does not constitute the creation of an attorney client relationship as this forum does not provide for a confidential communication.


This person is playing with fire. Doing anything with a person under the age of 18 in california can get you in trouble - at the very least, the conduct may be considered "annoying" a minor, which is considered a sex offence in CA, and has dire consequences. If the "caressing" was contact with an intimate part (i.e. breast), even over clothes, then the consequences are even worse. That said, if you feel that a crime has been committed, call the police and let them investigate.

Mr. Feasel is a former Deputy DA in the SF Bay Area with over 10 years of criminal law experience. Nothing stated on this site shall in anyway be construed as legal advice, or as creating any attorney/client relationship. If you would like to hire Mr. Feasel to further investigate your situation, feel free to contact him thru this site.