Both attorneys gave you outstanding advice, and I suggest you retain either one. I know attorney Kinder personally and he is one of the best out there. I would find an attorney that can balance aggressiveness with affectiveness and not just be mean or spiteful for the sake of it or for the sake of increasing legal fees. Treat this quest as you would in finding the right doctor or dentist, very important. Good luck and take care- also don't pay for consultation fees that in my opinion is a waste of money. but just my opinion.
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I can only answer what I have seen myself (I did practice family law in the past): those "pit bull" attorneys that people think they want for a divorce ending up costing the client and the other party more money, with oftentimes no difference in outcome. Judges have less and less patience for that style of lawyering, too, it seems. Perhaps it's different in other areas of the country.
Attorney Inga Stevens is licensed in Maine. She provides general information on Avvo.com. No attorney-client relationship arises out of the information given here.
The best attorney is the one that is going to advocate to protect and promote your interests, and at the same time provide you with practical advice. If you have an amicable divorce, then costs should be minimal. However, if it is a contentious situation, it is going to cost a lot more. Often times it is the clients who drive up costs by arguing over the minutia. Talk with your attorney and tell them your budget, as well as what is it you expect from the divorce process. Interview the attorney. You will get a sense of whether or not you are a good fit. Best of luck to you.
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When an attorney is acting as a "collaborative" attorney, the hope and intention is that the other party will also engage a collaborative attorney. In that way, both attorneys have the same goal, which is to negotiate a divorce agreement through the use of four way meetings. The tenor of the process would be negotiation and settlement, and neither attorney would be threatening to go to court. The theory is that without the threat of court or a judge making a decision hanging over either parties head, the husband and wife will come to a fair and equitable agreement. Many collaborative attorneys agree at the outset of the case that if an agreement cannot be reached the parties would have to get other counsel. The thought of starting over with new attorneys is such a negative that will encourage parties to reach agreements. Aggressive divorce attorneys would handle a divorce in a completely different way, by litigating the matter in front of a judge. Many couples would prefer to decide for themselves the most important decisions in their lives, rather than a judge who has very little time to hear and understand all the issues.