They are not the same thing, they are two completely different causes of action, and not even held in the same type of court (even if it is the same judge hearing the custody case and the adoption, custody will be in the domestic relations division of the circuit court, while an adoption will be in probate court).
If the adoption is granted, all of your parental rights will be terminated and you will be a "legal stranger" to your child/ren. If your children are important to you, you need to hire an attorney to help you with this.
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No, not at all. Hard to answer your question because I'm not following it. Either way though, you should have an attorney.
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