You may wish to consider drawing up a consent order, having both parties sign that and submit it to the court to be filed/entered. That way your agreement will have the same enforceability as any other court order in NJ.
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I definitely agree with Ms. Sdeo. A consent order signed by a judge is far more effective to give you that authority than a notarized letter. Or you may even try and have the father sign a consent order giving you sole legal custody which would give you even more authority (such as for medical care).
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Yes, what you propose is binding. It is better if signed by both and best if done the way my colleagues have explained. What are you agreeing as to payment for the education, however? Decision-making and paying agreements do not have to be the same.
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It appears from your question that there has not been a Complaint for Divorce filed. If that is the case then there will be problems executing and filing a Consent Order with a court since you do not have a docketed case. You can file a Complaint for Divorce and then enter into the Consent Order as addressed by other comments. If you are not ready for divorce and will be moving to NY without your husband, you should consider a legally binding separation agreement. See the attached article regarding NJ legal separation if that is something that you wish to consider. http://www.weinbergerlawgroup.com/Divorce-and-Separation/Divorce-Legal-Separation/Legal-Separation.html. Our website has additional information regarding divorce and custody related issues as you raise here. Please contact our office for a FREE consultation to discuss your matter further.
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A notarized document is simply a document where you have an independent witness (the notary) whom you can subpoena to testify in later proceedings that they in fact witnessed and documented the notarized signature. As for the contents of the document, that is another matter.
My opinion only applies in Arizona, which is the only jurisdiction I practice law in.
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