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Is 50 50 custody really a good idea? My ex and i just split. He wants 50 50 so he wont have to pay child support.

Salisbury, NC |

My son is 4. I have two other children that i have primary custody of that are not his biologically. I am a full time student and he is a police officer. He cheated throughout our entire relationshio and has walked out on us numerous times and ive even had to put my kids in therapy due to the instability. He works 12hr shifts alternating days and nights. 2 weeks he works 5 days and 2 weeks he works 2 days. My sons schedule would be crazy! Not to mention he has lived in my house his whole life and i make his daily schedule and take him to and from day care every day and he wouldnt be here with his brothers. Even though he is a good father is it unfair for me to request that he only have every other weekend and possibly a day during each week?

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Attorney answers 2


If the only reason he wants joint custody is to not pay child support then joint custody is not a good idea. The courts will always look at the best interest of the minor child. Your son is 4 so you should consider a schedule that will work for him when he goes to school. With your husband's work schedule joint custody may not be the best option for your son. You want your son on a fairly consistent schedule no mater which parent has custody/visitation.

As for your husband walking out and cheating during the course of the marriage you would need to speak with an attorney regarding post separation and alimony.

This information provided is general in nature and does not create an attorney client privilege. Please consult with an attorney to get a more detailed and specific answer to your legal matter.



Thank you. I would also like to know if it is possibly for me to request family therapy or if the court can order it. No for our relationship but for parenting reasons. My ex has almost all signs of narcissistic personality disorder and so does his father and i do not want those trsits passed on to our son. He has been saying things to my son every time he talks to him like " i miss you so much, i wish you could be here" and when they are together he tells him that they are going to have fun because its only the two of them and no one else. He has practically abandoned my other two children. This causes alot of resentment between my kids and i feel like hes saying these things to try to get my son to favor coming to his house.

Rhonda Graham Young

Rhonda Graham Young


Yes, you can ask the court to have your ex evaluated. A court ordered evaluation can be ordered by the judge. You can also request that he take parenting classes.


Talk to a local family law attorney immediately. There are rights you could possibly forfeit and not know it. The presumption in NC is joint legal custody - but physical custody will depend on the best interest of the children. And even if you have 50/50 custody, he could still have to pay child support - that depends on income. Contact an attorney.

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