You can certainly sue the phone company but you need to show damages and/or contractual breach. If an employee of the phone carrier made a mistake you should need to prove it. However, the damage you claim, losing contact with your family, is quite hard to prove. In this respect more facts are needed and your description of the event is superficial. My recommendation is to work with an attorney in your area. Best
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"....an employee accessed my account pretending he verified a picture ID and gave out private information. I'm a female, the unauthorized person who got my bills is a male, my name is a 100% female name, I don't even live in the city where the account was accessed."
Is this an accident, or are you alleging that someone deliberately and fraudulently gained access to your information?
The issue is documenting damages from the alleged breach of security. It appears some sort of family schism occurred, but that is not quantifiable.
IF you can prove fraud and harm, you might have a viable claim. Contact the CA and Orange County bar associations for referrals.
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I am sorry this has happened to you. The facts you provide suggests that someone intentionally misled the phone company to get this information. Unless the phone company can be proven to have not taken reasonable steps to protect your information, there would be no liability. Keep in mind that voices can be easily altered electronically to sound like a female. Check out how many sites can do that for you on the internet. Additionally, a male can use a falsetto voice to fake a girl, and who is to know better on the other side of the call, especially if that person provides private information to verify the identity.
The culprit here is not the phone company who was defrauded into giving up the information. The culprit is the person doing the defrauding. It may well be you have an invasion of privacy case against that person, but I don't see it against the phone company.
Good luck to you.
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