Unfortunately, you're caught between a rock and a hard place. The order is against you, not her. She is no under any obligation to keep away from you, but if you respond, you're in violation of the court order.
Until and unless it gets modified or rescinded by the court, it's in effect. You can have your attorney seek modification or removal of the restraining order, but the court will want to hear from the victim in the case. If it's a domestic violence case, they may want her to attend a "personal empowerment" class before they'll remove the restraining order, or at least modify it to allow contact (if you both want it), but to still keep you under the order of "no violent contact."
DO NOT RESPOND to any communication she sends,
unless and until you have a copy of the order lifting the restraining order IN YOUR HANDS.
NOT "she told me she'd lifted it", or "I thought it was lifted",
WHEN AND ONLY WHEN you've got a copy of the order in your hands, or the original order has run out and you KNOW it has not been extended.
If you resume communicating with her, and the order's not lifted, and she gets mad at you, or changes her mind, and calls the police, you're looking at potential jail time.
If she wants to get the order lifted, then SHE will need to figure it out, without any assistance from YOU.
The order applies to you, not her. That creates some difficulty, and the matter is compounded by the method she's using to contact you. Accepting a Facebook "friend request" might be considered a violation of the court's order and a violation of your probation if the court learns of it.
If you have an attorney, your attorney can lawfully contact her to find out what her wishes are with respect to vacating the restraining order so that you can work on restoring your friendship. Additionally, the assistance and friendship of the complaining witness can be a helpful factor if you should ever attempt to petition for early termination of probation.