My so-to-be ex-husband had a 5 yr affair with a married co-worker. During the affair he was bringing our 4yr old (at the time)daughter on day trips with her and her 3 kids. This happened for 2 yrs straight until he was caught. My daughter is now 9 and going to counseling. She had a little of hatred towards her father as well as his girlfriend (same person ). He is going around introducing his girlfriend to his family and friends and threatened to bring our daughter around her. We are not even divorced yet. I'm afraid this will hurt her, what can I do to prevent this?
I suggest you speak to your attorney about filing a motion to prevent it although it is no certainty that the court will grant such a request. In fact, it is unlikely that you will be successful unless there is a mental health professional involved who will report to the court that his behavior will harm your child.
Unfortunately, you can not limit or control who your husband exposes to your child unless you can prove it is damaging your child or is otherwise not in her best interest.
Please mark this answer as "Helpful" or "Best Answer" if my advice helped you. I hope you understand that the information I presented to you is based on the limited facts presented and is based on New Jersey. Also, this information does not contain any confidential information and does not create any attorney/client relationship.
It is unlikely that you will succeed with this, and less likely that you can influence who he dates in front of your daughter once a divorce is final. Your husband will very likely get to keep bringing them together, especially since his relationship with her is probably going to be found to be long, ongoing and stable (even if he hurt you by starting it way too early).
This should not be considered legal advice and is intended for educational purposes only. It does not constitute a contract for legal services between any parties. Answers are given to questions for which there may be additional facts not mentioned which might change the legal issues or consequences.
Seek advice from your daughter's counsellor. If the counsellor believes it would be harmful for your daughter perhaps the counsellor will reach out to your husband and speak with him about changing his timing on bringing her around your daughter until the counsellor recommends. If he fails to follow the counsellor's advice, then you may file a motion. There is no guarantee the court will prevent contact between your daughter and the GF, however the Court may restrict overnights in her presence until the divorce is completed. Some people are so eager to get on with their new lives they do not see how taking things a little slower for children to adjust and work through feelings could benefit the children and the child's relationship with father and GF in the long run. Maybe the counsellor can help him see this. You will want to be careful you are not projecting your own feelings about the GF onto your daughter, if she is beginning to adjust and resolve her own angry feelings. Listen to her counsellor.
I agree with the other attorneys posting here. You will most likely be unsuccessful in any attempt to control who your daughter meets when she is with your husband. As the other attorney's have mentioned, the best bet is to see if your daughter's counselor thinks it is damaging to her mental health. Best of luck.
In accord with the previous responses, the fact that your daughter has become confused by this and is now attending therapy might be of assistance to you in determining which parent ought to be the parent of primary residence when and if the two of you divorce. If nothing else, you may wish to keep a journal of everything that is going on so that your memories and recollections are clear later when you need them in court.
Sign up to receive a 10-part series of useful information and legal advice about the divorce process.
Years licensed, work experience, educationLegal community recognition
Peer endorsements, associations, awardsLegal thought leadership
Publications, speaking engagementsDiscipline