If your ex filed a Request for Order and then does not appear at the hearing, and no attorney appears on his behalf, the motion will be taken off calendar. The court will not rule on it. If you want something, i.e. arrears or an increase in support, you have to file your own RFO; or oppose his. Again, however, if he does not show up, the motion he filed, even if you opposed it, will simply be taken off calendar.
...your issue is to defeat his request ..he can use a lawyer to appear on his behalf thus you can not assume that he will not appear...in reference what to ask for depends from the needs of the kids and you can subpoena his tax returns his job etc.
When he filed to dismiss the arrears he filed also documents as per his income..
check those documents. they can guide you as per his income and source of income
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Ms. Waxman and Powers hit the nail on the head. The court will only hear your Ex's motion if he appears or has an attorney appear for him. The will not consider any changes you wish to make to the current order unless you separately file your own request for order with the court and serve it on the opposing party.