Equitable distribution can be resolved either by agreement of the parties or by a Judge. If you come to an agreement that was fairly negotiated, both parties are aware of the financial circumstances of the other and the agreement is not unconscionable, it will likely be upheld. Domestic Relations Law 236B lists the factors that courts will use in determining equitable distribution. As long as your agreement takes these factors into account you can work out any arrangement that is mutually agreeable. In your situation, it is advised that you consult with a local attorney, particularly if she is agreeing to give you 90% of the property. Most people divide 50-50 so there should be a good reason for the unequal distribution.
Yes the parties can agree however beware the judge can find the agreement inequitable or unconscionable, you must be prepared to give a reason for the unbalanced agreement.
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