I have sole custody of my son, his father has every other weekend. I want to move out of state where the school system is better, the job opportunities are much better and housing is cheaper. If his father and I can come to an agreement outside of court and get a notarized letter stating such agreement will that be enough for the judge? That is how we came up with our parenting agreement that we currently have filed with the courts.
There is no substitute for an amended parenting time agreement that is stipulated to. So if you are truly in agreement you would file with the court a stipulated amended Judgment for Custody and parenting time. Both parents sign that they stipulate to the amended Judgment and the Judge will almost always sign off on the Judgment. (The Judge can read it and refuse to sign if the Judge is concerned about something but that is very unlikely if the plan is reasonable.) You will also need to submit a new child support calculation and have support ordered so that the Judge knows that you have considered how the move effects the number of days that each parent has with the child and the child support has been adjusted accordingly. It may be that the child support doesn't change but you should still submit the paperwork just so the Judge has it when he reviews the stipulated Judgment.
Having a formal stipulated Judgment will protect you in the long run. There have been a lot of cases where a parent contests the proposed move of the other parent and wins. See an Attorney and get a stipulated Judgment drawn up. If the other parent is truly in agreement this shouldn't cost you very much and will save you money in the long run.
Note, most parenting time plans specify that you only need to get permission from the other parent if the move is more than 60 miles. So if your move is to Vancouver Washington for example, and is 60 miles or less from where you live now, you may not need to formally amend the Judgment. But I would still recommend doing a formal stipulated amendment to avoid future disputes.
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