My ex and I were never married and have 3 kids together. We do not have a court ordered custody agreement but do have a court date scheduled. He has been working out of town, coming home on the weekends and I want to have my kids when he is out of town during the week. For the last 18 months we have been working on a 2 week schedule starting on a Friday night thru Sunday night I have the kids and then Dad's house on Monday & Tuesday, my house Wednesday & Thursday. The next week is the opposite. i have never liked this arrangement, but there is a lot more to the situation.
This comment is based upon the information that you provided. Since you do not have a court order, your ex does not have a court-ordered obligation to contact you when he works out of town. His obligation would be a moral obligation to you and your children. Certainly, if he works out of town only periodically, having the children spend time with their grandparents would be a treat. But, if he works out of town each week, I would bring this up at the custody conference because the children should primarily be with a parent, not a third party.
I suggest that you contact an experienced family law attorney to discuss this issue as well as the additional issues you allude to in your question. Custody is very fact specific, and the answer for one family is not the answer to another family.
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You do not give the ages of your children. Certainly, if your children are in school, the court would want to maintain their status. You also do not say who takes care of the children when Dad is working out of town. If it is a third party, the court would prefer that the children be with a parent. You also do not say whether the "court date" is a conference or a hearing. You should have an attorney go with you and make sure you prepare for it ahead of time.
If there's a lot more to the situation, consult with an experienced family law attorney and have them guide you as to your legal rights and options. It seems to me that this type of schedule could be disruptive to establishing a routine in the childrens' lives. The unnamed other factors could play a role in why this was put in place, but it would appear from what you've stated that a modification would be appropriate.
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