I understand your postition, but PFAs are not to be taken lightly. I would highly suggest that he not put you on the visitor list and that you don't visit him. How long is the PFA? Can your closure wait until afterwards? A PFA should either be abided by or vacated; it shouldn't be something to be used when convenient. That wouldn't be fair to him or you.
My colleague's explanation was very good. I understand that you feel that you need closure, however, you need to ask yourself whether talking to him will change anything. Especially, if it is technically breaking the law. You may be better of getting professional assistance in the form of a therapist in dealing this issue. I am unfamiliar with you, your marriage or why there is a PFA, but if you are considering violating the PFA, which is breaking the law, in order to move on, there may be better ways.
Michael L. Doyle
As a plaintiff you cannot violate a PFA, unless there are provisions that have been added that require certain actions from you. If you meet with your husband, that will likely not be a violation of the PFA.
That being said, I would suggest that you do not meet with your husband. If you need closure, you should talk with a therapist or counselor on how to reach that closure. Hopefully a counselor can help you achieve the closure you need without talking to your husband. If you really think you need to say something to your husband, you should write him a letter. After you have written the letter decide if you actually need to send it to him, or just needed to get the words out. Remember that if you choose to send the letter, it could be used as evidence in your divorce case, so be careful what you write down.
This answer is for informative purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice. If you have a legal concern that is important to you, I urge you to consult with an attorney. For those who are concerned about their ability to afford legal assistance, the ACBA's Lawyer Referral Service is here to help: http://www.acbalrs.org .