The standard is no contact and no support for two years. (What is "emotional contact"? ANY contact counts.)
You cannot obtain a step parent adoption without his consent if bio dad has not abandoned the child.
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I don't like this. I have two daughters. One didn't bond with me until 5 the other 2. Dad probably needs to do a lot of work to be a positive force in your daughter's life, and I hope that he does, but there is no burning urgency and the name issue is just superficial. Your daughter doesn't need to have her relationship with her biological father harmed to have a wonderful relationship with her stepfather. I'd start with love and counseling not the executioner.
As noted is the 'self-help' link, you begin by filing an Adoption Request and provide a copy of the filed request to the Department of Child & Family Services who will provide you with a packet to complete. The termination of bio-dad's parental rights is part of the process if bio-dad refuses to consent to the adoption.
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