If you are unable to attend your bankruptcy hearing, the trustee and judge do have the option of dismissing your case. However, judges and trustees are typically very deferential to our military personal, and often allow a notarized declaration in lieu of live 341(a) testimony. I'd suggest you speak with a bankruptcy attorney in your area and find out how the process works under the local rules of your district before moving forward, and experienced bankruptcy attorney will have had this come up before. Another alternative is for your wife to file individually, it sounds like this may accomplish your purposes. Finally, thank you for your service.
The court may allow the POA to attend instadd of you but check with your attorney to see whaat the local practice is in your area.
Disclaimer: This answer does not constitute legal advice. I am admitted in the States of New York, New Jersey and Massachusetts only and make no attempt to opine on matters of law that are not relevant to those three States. This advice is based on general principles of law that may or may not relate to your specific situation. Facts and laws change and these possible changes will affect the advice provided here. Consult an attorney in your locale before you act on any of this advice. You should not rely on this advice alone and nothing in these communications creates an attorney client relationship. The opinions expressed herein are those of the author only and the fact that he has worked as an Assistant District Attorney; State Supreme Court Clerk; Special Assistant United States Attorney (Hawaii); Assistant Cornell University Counsel or Judge Advocate, United States Marine Corps should not be relied upon to assume that these statements reflect the policy of these organizations.