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I think my ex-husand is molesting my child

San Francisco, CA |

My son is 2 yrs old, he suddenly began touching himself, claiming it was something his father showed him. He also has stated his father tickles him in his private area, my son has now also tried to touch his behind, my question is do i have to notify my ex-husband that i want to take my son to see a doctor to see if he is being molested by his father. I know since we have joint custody I am to notify him of any doctor visits, but how does it work if I believe he is molesting my son.

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Attorney answers 5


If you believe a crime has been committed you report it to the police, and they take it from there.

R. Jason de Groot, Esq. We do not have an attorney-client relationship. I am not your lawyer. The statements I make do not constitute legal advice. Any statements made by me are based upon the limited facts you have presented, and under the premise that you will consult with a local attorney. This is not an attempt to solicit business. This disclaimer is in addition to any disclaimers that this website has made. I am only licensed in Florida.


You can report the crime to police immediately. Do not try to coach or otherwise suggest anything to your son about what may have happened or about how to answer questions from police, psychologists, or physicians. You may wish to consult with an attorney in private to help you through this process which may be long and difficult for you and your son.


This is a very sensitive issue, so be sure that this is what you want to do. Young children are naturally inquisitive and will touch their private area without thinking anything is wrong. I would discuss the matter with your pediatrician first because if the doctor suspects something has happened, he is a mandated reporter and must contact the police. But although he is your ex-husband, an allegation of molestation, even if later proven untrue, will haunt him for the rest of his life. I would not notify him if you truly believed something has happened.

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I'm very sorry to hear this. I agree with my colleagues that you should immediately report this matter to the authorities.

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I note that you marked the legal category as "criminal defense"; however, I think this matter relates more to family law than criminal defense--since your allegation of sexual molestation would impact on custody issues. As a family-law attorney, I always urge parents dealing with such issues to first talk with an attorney. Here's why: it's important to understand the pros and cons--yes cons--in making an allegation of sexual molestation against the other parent. In some cases, the parent who made the allegation, LOST custody of their child and were ordered to pay the other parent's legal fees. In a nutshell, there are risks in making such an allegation.

If you are genuinely concerned and truly believe the father is molesting your son, then you may want to consider speaking to a family attorney. Many attorneys provide free consultations.

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