QDROs are entered at the conclusion of the divorce. You should have gotten a copy of it at that point in time. Check the court file if one wa executed, signed, entered and filed with your ex's employer. You should also check you judgment and findings of fact if indeed you were granted a QDRO in the first place.
It sounds like you are handling your divorce Pro Se. That is never a good idea. Consult with an attorney asap. A little money spent up front can avoid a lifetime of regret.
Do you have an attorney? Your attorney will know how to prepare or have prepared a qdro. I have mine prepared by a specialist. You can look on avvo for family law attorneys in your area and consult with them if you do not have an attorney. These attorneys can steer you in the right direction. Don't attempt to draft one yourself, as they can be very tricky.
It is probably best to consult a lawyer because QDROs are extremely complicated. If you are dead-set on doing this yourself, try websites for Lexington Pension Consultants and Fidelity. Good luck.
First, the QDRO isn't what entitles you to "half" of your soon to be ex-husband's pension. Whatever you will be entitled to get, if anything, from your husband's pension is something that is negotiated between your attorneys and or ordered by the court. Once that's been completed, then the QDRO (Qualified Domestic Relations Order) is prepared according to the specific requirements of the pension plan administrator, etc. As the other attorneys have suggested, it is unwise and very time consuming to attempt this yourself, and if it isn't done correctly you may never get the pension benefits/money you are entitled to get.
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The QDRO is separate and apart from the judgment. It is the document necessary for the pension plan administrator to comply with the judgment's determination of how much you are to share in the pension. It is signed by the supreme court judge, but only after it is prepared. The other party may object if it does not comply with the judgment, and typically, it is submitted in draft to the plan administrator for its objections and needed corrections prior to submission to the court.
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