Skip to main content

I'm getting divorced, we each have our own attorneys.we are unable to agree as to how to divide assets and debt,what can I do

Rice Lake, WI |

Whenever we get together to talk about the above mentioned issues, we argue and I end up leaving. Is there any way that we can meet with our attorneys in the same room and decide on assets and debt with our lawyers present? I want to get this divorce done, but my soon to be ex is claiming that I am responsible for credit card debt that he incurred (the card is in his name only and is his business account) prior to us filing for divorce. He also is making demands that I pay him 1/2 of the mortgage even though he is the one living in the house - I cannot afford 1/2 the mortgage and also pay my rent for the place I am currently living. I don't know what to do.

+ Read More

Attorney answers 2


Have your attorney contact his attorney and set up a meeting with the four of you to discuss division of assets and debts.

The response given is not intended to create, nor does it create an ongoing duty to respond to questions. The response does not form an attorney-client relationship, nor is it intended to be anything other than the educated opinion of the author. It should not be relied upon as legal advice. The response given is based upon the limited facts provided by the person asking the question. To the extent additional or different facts exist, the response might possibly change. Attorney is licensed to practice law only in the State of California. Responses are based solely on California law unless stated otherwise.


In some jurisdictions, four way conferences are required in which the husband, wife and attorneys sit down and try to work through the issues. Sometimes it leads to a settlement. Other times, it simply leads to a clear list for the judge of what the disputed issues are in the case. In other jurisdictions, mediation is required. In my opinion, based on experience, I find mediation a better alternative because there is a third, hopefully objective, party present to give a reality check. Mediation costs money, but if it can lead to a settlement then it will buy you what you want, which is a resolution of the mess sooner rather than later. It is cheaper than a trial.

Division of marital debts and assets is subject to a number of factors set out in the divorce statutes. Each state has its own. No one asset can be subjected to analysis in isolation without viewing all of the assets that both of you own, and without understanding the full context of the marriage including but not limited to your stations in life, the lifestyles to which you are accustomed, your educational and employment histories, your current abilities to support yourselves, and many other circumstances.

This answer is provided for informational purposes only. Actual legal advice can only be provided in an office consultation by an attorney licensed in your jurisdiction, with experience in the area of law in which your concern lies.