Not knowing which state you are moving to makes it difficult to respond to your question. However, if you were to file for divorce in NY, you would not have to establish grounds for divorce. You could file under irretrievable breakdown of the marital relationship. No matter where you move you will definitely get child support. Spousal maintenance depends on income levels. Speak to an attorney who specializes in military divorces before you do anything.
There is lots of information missing to give an answer. Where did you get married, how long have you lived in NY are you going to move your residency permanently? There are questions that need to be answered first. You should also keep in mind that if you get an order from NY and your spouse is a NY resident all custody and visitation determinations will be made by NY. You may want to wait until you set up residency in another state for at least 6 months before you file. Speak with a local divorce attorney.
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This advice is not meant to create an attorney-client relationship and is a general anwer to the question posed.
You will be able to obtain child support. But, spousal maintenance is not guaranteed on a four year marriage. It does depend on his income. You need to determine where you are going to live and where you should file. It would be a good idea to consult with a divorce attorney before you make any decisions.
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