I have take the test and the child is mine, I do pay my child support, but I am heart broken that she kept this from me. What can I do?
Since you had to take a paternity test, I assume that there was some doubt as to paternity. Now there isn't. Even if the mother knew and kept this from you and even if such a cause of action exists against mother (and I am not sure that it does), the bottom line is that this child now has a father. You need to get a court order in place that provides for appropriate parenting time. You may wish to take a parenting class. You need to focus on how you are going to be dad to this child. Suing mom on an alientation theory, even if you have the right to do it, isn't going to help you do this wonderful and important job you now have to do. Don't lose sight of what has really happened here. If you wish to pursue alienation action, consult a personal injury attorney experienced in Oregon tort law.
Assuming that you want to be a part of your child's life, you will need to file a motion with the Court to establish custody and parenting time rights. It is extremely unlikely that you will be awarded primary legal custody right away. Courts place a high value on stability and continuity for children, and will not order them removed from their long-standing home unless it is fundamentally unfit in some way. On the other hand, you are likely to be awarded some parenting time with the child, which will be able to be increased as you get to know each other better.
In order for that to work, you and the child's mother will have to have some kind of ongoing relationship. You'll have to be able to discuss the child's needs and work together to meet them. So getting started by filing a lawsuit against her for "alienation of affection" will immediately start the process on a hostile, combative tenor that will not serve your long-term goals well.
I've said this many times, and I'm sure I'll say it many more: The courts are not here to validate your personal feelings or to vindicate your every injury. People have this idea that suing someone is this cathartic emotional experience. It is not. When you sue someone, you must go over every detail of your life in public forum, and have every mistake and misstep critically examined. The other party will have the right and the reason to question your honesty and your motives. And you would be accused of contributing to the problem yourself (why didn't you establish paternity before now?), and the lawsuit would interfere with the actual custody petition.
So even if you could succeed in such a lawsuit - which I frankly doubt - you are better off laying aside your anger and bitterness and focusing instead on how to be a part of your child's life now. You should consult with a domestic relations lawyer in the county where your child lives, to discuss the custody and parenting time process.
Nothing posted on this site is intended to create an attorney-client relationship. Each case is unique. You are advised to have counsel at all stages of any legal proceeding, and to speak with your own lawyer in private to get advice about your specific situation. <br> <br> Jay Bodzin, Northwest Law Office, 2075 SW First Avenue, Suite 2J, Portland, OR 97201 | Telephone: 503-227-0965 | Facsimile: 503-345-0926 | Email: [email protected] | Online: www.northwestlawoffice.com
While it is unfortunate that you missed out of the first three years of your child's life. You should now be focusing on the many years ahead of you and what you can do to become a part of his life and a role model he can look up to. You will have to be able to work with your child's mother for at least the next 15 years, so suing her is not going to start things out well between you.
If you have not already done so, you need to file a petition for custody, parenting time, and child support. You will need to come up with a parenting plan that allows you to start getting to know your son and gives you increasing time with him. You should consult with an experienced family law attorney to help you get this process started.
First, the tort of "alienation of affection" has long-since been abolished in Oregon and most of the rest of the U.S.
Second, even when it was around, an "alienation of affection" lawsuit meant suing somebody that did something wrong that caused you to lose the affection and consortium of your spouse. Basically, it meant you would sue the man who had an affair with your wife.
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