I hate to say this, and I am sure you have thought about it, but if your ex has a lawyer and you don't it's not a fair fight. One cannot analyze your question without many, many more facts.
The above is general legal and business analysis. It is not "legal advice" but analysis, and different lawyers may analyse this matter differently, especially if there are additional facts not reflected in the question. I am not your attorney until retained by a written retainer agreement signed by both of us. I am only licensed in California. See also avvo.com terms and conditions item 9, incorporated as if it was reprinted here.
Mr. Doland is absolutely spot on. Going this far without an attorney has only brought on what seems like more problems. If you would like to discuss a legal strategy based on the specifics of your case to help you understand what your options are moving forward, feel free to call my office: (310) 855-3386. Have a nice day.
I'm sure you are aware that a restraining order has a drastic effect on your ability to get employment (if you require a State License or weapon permit. Also if you are in a career where you help the elderly or children your job could likewise be affected).
Just like the advise from the other attorneys who answered, if you go up against an attorney who knows what they are doing, your chance of prevailing is very low. Do not let your ex continue to beat you up. It is time to take a stand and fight back . You need an attorney to help you fight for you and win your case.
If the court issued a permanent restraining roder before based on evidence presented in a contested hearing, then the process of obtaining extensions of that order is relatively easy. In order to get the orders terminated, you would need to show why restraining orders are no longer necessary - not an easy task under the best of circumstances. My guess is that you'll need third-parties to come and testify on your behalf. If there are allegations of substance abuse or anger issues, then you'd want to submit proof of treatment and/or completion of an anger management program. If you can bring a therapist who can testify that you're not a danger to anyone and that you're not likely to engage in any prohibited conduct, then that would be helpful too. If you have proof that you are not continuing to engage in the sort of conduct that triggers a restraining order, then you'll need to present that too (e.g., phone records to contradict claims you are calling, etc.). Your ex-wife's motivation is not relevant to the discussion. What matters is your conduct.
As for your kids testifying in court, are they going to testify for or against you? They have to be 14 years old to speak in court, and then only in certain circumstances. Younger than that and they don't get to talk. Their testimony may come in through third-parties though, so you need to be prepared to address any evidentiary objections you can make.
Having handled dozens of DV cases over the years (both for and against), I can tell you that they are difficult, but not impossible, to defend against. In your case, having already been hit with one or more, you're fighting an uphill battle. At a minimum, you really do need to consider consulting with a lawyer experienced in DVPA cases to see if you have any chance of prevailing in a contested hearing. If not, then you'd be well-advised to try to cut a deal with your ex-wife, through her attorney, that gives her what she wants in return for dispensing with the restraining order.