Skip to main content

I have a contract with my son's father, he violated the contract, will it help me gain sole custody of my son?

Sears, MI |

Our contract states if my son's father violates the contract in any way, he gives up any rights to our son. Will that alone grant me custody of my son? The contract was signed and noterised at a bank. My son's father is barely involved in my son's life and lives 4 hours away. My son is going to be two years old on feb.27th and has only seen his father 5 times in his whole life. I want sole custody of my son. I am the only parent he knows. What can I do? I want to be able to raise my son with out any interference of my son's inconsistent father. I don't beleive a child needs two parents.

+ Read More

Attorney answers 4


How sadly mistaken you are. Not only would your efforts to shut the father out of your son's life not be recognized by most courts, the clear pattern of interference you seem so proud of could be seen as parental alienation and convince a judge that sole custody should vest in the father. Children grow up and adults grow old and life goes on. The day may come when your son realizes that something very important is missing from his life and not only will he reject your plan to push away his father, he may reject YOU and find ways to exact revenge for your misguided interference. You can hang out on Avvo hoping some less experienced attorney somewhere will mindlessly encourage you, or you can wake up and smell the coffee while there is still time for your child to have the decent relationship with two parents that he deserves. It will be interesting to see how much more effective and consistent the father's contact is when you recognize how much of the problem you are causing, and instead facilitate and encourage a positive relationship.

Best wishes for an outcome that serves the best interests of your child, and pleae remember to designate a best answer.

This answer is offered as a public service for general information only and may not be relied upon as legal advice.

Edward Jacob Sternisha

Edward Jacob Sternisha


Well Said!


First of all, no! That contract will not hold up if he wants to see his son and be a part of his life. As for your selfish reasons to be the child's only parent because you do not feel he needs two parents, I am beginning to understand why the father is not around you very much.

STOP BEING SO SELFISH and be a real parent. Your son needs a mother and a father. He needs a mother and a father who do not put him in the middle of the fights between you two. A boy needs a father for many reasons. One of which is to learn how to be a man and a father someday. While a mother (even a single mother) can do a wonderful job raising a child, nothing can replace the natural longing to have a father in your life (the same goes for a mother). Your son deserves to have his father in his life. You cannot control how your son's father behaves but ma’am, you can certainly control your behavior.

If you do not like my response...too bad! I get angry when I find myself more concerned about a child than his own parent. Your son is not a toy to play with. He is a real person and has real needs.

PLEASE get some parenting classes and counseling. You really need them. Your son deserves for you to take them. I’ll pray that you do…for his sake!

The comments listed here do not create an attorney-client relationship. The comments are for informational purposes only and are not to be considered legal advice. This attorney is only licensed in Michigan and does not give legal advice in any other state. All comments are to be considered conversational information and you should not rely on these comments as legal advice or in place of retaining an attorney of our own. The comments here are based solely on what you have provided and therefore are general in nature and with more specific facts or details a different answer or outcome could result. The legal system is not a perfect science and this attorney does not guarantee any outcome.

Edward Jacob Sternisha

Edward Jacob Sternisha


Attorney Sinclair reminded me with her great answer about parental alienation. Please consider reading the book I wrote on Breaking The Cycle of Child Abuse which includes that topic. All the proceeds go to help end child abuse.


Alright the other answers disturbed me a a little, I think the poster is asking a legitimate question and we respond by judging her and apparently knowing her motives.

To the questions I will provide a legal answer, the question is to what extent will a Child Custody Agreement, made outside of the court hold up? In Michigan the answer is "it depends" but a Michigan court is bound to look at the agreement and to determine the intent of the parties. All contracts concerning child custody must be done with a best interest if the child analysis in mind.

However the courts will presume that the parents of the child have the best interest of the child in mind when making agreements.

So yes your contract may have some weight on a child custody determination but may not be the only issue a Judge will consider. We would need to know the terms of the agreement and probably a little background on how the agreement was made.


While you should consult with an experienced family law attorney, I do not think that any court is going to change custody merely upon an alleged breach of a "contract." The court is statutorily required to follow the "best Interest of the child" factors to determine whether to change custody or parenting time. And personally, I beleive that emperical evidence has consistently shown that, in general, a child needs the love and care from both parents. Both parents need to be involved to care for and love the child. Both parents need to be cooperative with each other and they must learn to put their own conflict aside for the sake of the child.

This answer is not intended to provide legal advice and it further does not operate to create an attorney/client relationship. You should always consult with a lawyer with a full disclosure of all of the facts and circumstances.

Can't find what you're looking for?

Post a free question on our public forum.

Ask a Question

- or -

Search for lawyers by reviews and ratings.

Find a Lawyer