You should contact an Iowas divorce attorney. The Illinois same sex marriage law has not passed yet. It still must pass our house and be signed by our governor. It only passed the Illinois senate so far,
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You state "we live" in Missouri. You also state you don't know where your spouse is so there are confusing statements in your question. The answer to where your spouse is will determine some of your rights so finding your spouse is very important. While Missouri does not recognize same sex marriages at this time... there can be arguments made for either an annulment or a divorce but your case may make new law in Missouri about how to divorce a person when the underlying marriage is not recognized as lawful. Current cases challenging DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) are unlikely to answer the question your divorce case presents.
I encourage you to consult with an attorney who practices in both family law and appellate law since your case may require an appeal to the higher courts in Missouri.
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