If your ex-wife will not agree to you charging for both labor and parts, I recommend that you just have it done by a 3rd party professional, who should give you a written invoice. You should each pay 50% of the professional's bill from the house sale proceeds.
If she won't agree to that either, you could just deduct her half from her support, understanding that she could then take you to court.
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If there is a court ordered support obligation you are required to satisfy the same in full. You have no right to deduct anything from such a court ordered support obligation absent your ex agreeing.
As for the costs and expenses associated with bringing your improving your home so that the same can be sold, if a Judge was asked to rule whether you have a monetary claim against your ex for the labor you supply it is very unlikey that a Judge would grant you any such relief. Accordingly, absent your ex's consent, if you are opposed to contributing the labor for free, you should hire a 3rd party to complete the labor as the prior attorney who posted a response had suggested.
Kenneth A. White, Esq.
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Agreeing with the above posts, I would only add that if you can do the work yourself, that is simple and effective and essentially free. If you wish to have someone else do it, I would say that speaking with the ex first about doing so would probably save you trouble and money if she refuses to contribute tot he cost.