There is no such thing as "primary" on a debt. If you both signed the note; you are both responsible. If you want to keep the car then you need to make peace with the lender. Otherwise, expect a repossession. Lenders want money not vehicles.
This is not legal advise. It is intended only as general information for your use and since all facts may not be disclosed, It is difficult to give an accurate and complete answer.
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