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I am filing for divorce but in California - however, my father-in-law's interference caused the split. What can I do?

San Francisco, CA |

My husband has had a life long history of abuse that has scarred him at the hands of his abusive, controlling, punitive father that has caused him to have psychological, emotional and now physical problems to the point that he has been unable to hold a job. I was the one working and husband could not handle the kids/home so I had to quit. My father-in-law used my husbands significant inheritance (multi-millions) to use as leverage in leaving me. I am destitute because of this. I had a home, have a college degree (self financed with scholarships), and 2 kids. I am not going to get anything from my husband - he has not even paid his ex-wife from 1st marriage. (I am wife #2). What are my options - there is no legal torts like they have in NY with father-in-law interfering.

My husband has no claim to his inheritance which is in a irrevocable trust. He gets nothing until he divorces me as father-in-law does not believe "separate property" doctrine nor will he establish a heritage trust so it would not strain our marriage. My husband is very weak and would not dare confront his father. I lost my home (bankruptcy) due to my husband's chronic unemployment, emotional over-spending and financial mismanagement. We are currently stuck living in father-in-law's old condo as my husband cannot even afford rent. Husband controls all the finances and I never see most money. Lastly, I KNOW that money changes hands between them but I cannot find paper trail. Hurts me financially and we own nothing - just massive debt which my husband incurred mostly. I also have NO idea where everything is at financially.

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Attorney answers 4

Best Answer
Posted are not the only woman that goes throught serious financial harship due to her husband's unability to co op with his deep psychological contradictions... maybe he is a good man but I am sorry your husband left your marriage long time ago.. A man, any man or woman, that does not dedicate themself to his/her family , spouse and children,can become a lost cause for that family...I am sorry but you really need to face the situation.... from your posting you appear that you really love your husband but you reached a point that your love is not enough to support your family are an educated person and you must understand that if your husband can not understand that his family is his most important wealth in life then you need to address the issue with marriage counseling .
finally the control of finances is a method that controlling persons use to control their families..
You need to brake the cycle..i wish you the best of luck

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I totally agree with attorney Powers, your husband is loser.

Please only call me if your case is in California as I am only licensed here and laws of other states may vary. I approach trials and issues from a legal and common sense approach, This is how the majority of judges I have appeared before in 40 years also make decisions. I do not intend by my advice to enter an attorney client relationship and in most cases advise to obtain legal representation. Sometimes if you can not afford it a consultation or limited scope representation is available. As an experienced attorney I can tell you, judges can be impatient, hate emotional arguments and over exagerations or lies. A brief outline of the problems and desired solutions is always best and I often in limited scope representations advise clients on how to proceed at time of hearing or trial and my fees are considerably less when I do not appear in court as it takes much less of my time.


Put the blame where it lies, not on your father-in-law, but on your husband. He is the one consistently making these bad choices.


You have a lot of issues here that need addressing by an attorney. There is no interference statue here. Also, your H"s inheritance is his separate property but you might have community property rights that need to be explored.

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