Speak to his lawyer. See if he can convey your wishes to the court.
I am a criminal defense attorney practicing in Nassau, Suffolk and New York City. The above information is not a substitution for a meeting whereas all potential legal issues can be discussed.
Technically the matter is out of your hands and there is nothing you can do. It is, as I have often pointed out here, easy to bring the police into a situation. It can be very difficult, and perhaps impossible, to get them to leave. This can be a serious problem, especially in domestic cases where the enforcement authorities have a strong agenda of their own to which they may be committed. In their defense, the authorities are legitimately and properly worried about the safety of people who complain of domestic violence, repeatedly refuse to prosecute, and eventually wind up seriously injured or dead. But they are often unwilling to recognize that all domestic cases are not alike.
My colleague's suggestion that you talk to the defendant's attorney is a good one.
Whatever you do, you cannot lie. That would make it worse, for you.
firstname.lastname@example.org 703-298-9562, 800-401-1583. Answering your question does not create an attorney-client relationship.