but realistically I will be dead before she starts middle school. I have a 32 year-old son who is a doctor with 3 kids and very well off. Is it legally possible for him to adopt the baby without marrying or interfering with the parental rights of the mother? She would like her to have a father growing up and so would I. The child is a great blessing, not a mistake.
Congratulations! Not a mistake, a blessing indeed.
Don't sell yourself short. Middle school is 11 years or so down the road, and with medical treatment and Medicare there is no reason to suppose you won't be there.
A petition to adopt does not have to be to a married couple. Under these circumstances, a judge might well approve an adoption--but I must tell you I have concerns for the relationship between your adult son and the girl's mother. That may or may not be good for his home situation. If he is married his wife may have a resentment. William Shakespeare made his name writing about family relationships and disputes, yes? His wife may also have the concern that family wealth will now be shared by a child not hers.
In theory, reasonable, educated and loving people should be able to work for the better good.
Another concern I have is confusion for your youngest child. Who will she look to as being her Dad while you are alive? Will she know you or your adult son as Dad? Right now, while she is in infancy, not a big deal. But later on? Or, are you going to be known to her as Grandpa? Is that a good idea down the road if she ever learns the truth?
I am not licensed other than to give legal advise and render legal services, so I will refrain from giving an opinion as to what is better or worse for your daughter, and frankly, I do not know. Just wanted to raise some of those concerns for your consideration.
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Yes it is possible if you, the mother, and your son all agree. If your son is married, his wife would also have to agree, and the Judge would need to be persuaded to approve this unusual arrangement. In recent years the courts have approved many adoptions that do not fit within the realm of traditional adoptions.
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