When determining whether extreme hardship is present, USCIS considers the hardship to the qualifying relative (i.e. the U.S. spouse). However, it is often helpful to have a statement from the alien as well. This is especially true when the grounds for inadmissibility are due to material misrepresentation or criminal grounds. You should consult an experienced immigration attorney.
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The hardship is to the United States citizen or legal permit resident qualifying relative. Thus you need to demonstrate the hardship to the qualifying relative
The hardship has to be experienced by the US citizen. BUT - you should also include a letter yourself, to talk about the problems/hardship you think your spouse will have if you go back home - particularly, if your husband moved with you back to your home country. Since you are asking for a waiver, too, it's also a good idea to talk about how you're sorry about what happened in the past and how you want to make things right with immigration. It's a lot of work and if you have the money to do so, an experienced immigration attorney should be able to help you put together a really strong waiver package.
This general advice does not create an attorney-client relationship.