We have been married for almost 10 years and he has been in the military for 9 years. May will be his 10 years. I don't honestly know where to begin with getting a divorce. My husband and I have been going at this for years now and its a constant battle with us to even get along with the kids. He has anger issues, depression, and anxiety. And i am worried with him having even shared custody im worried about the kids. His family is not the most stable. I don't know exactly where to begin with starting separation or divorce. He thinks we don't need lawyers but for mine and the kids benefit I feel like we do.
Before I draft my response, please explain what is a "sahm."
This is NOT legal advice, is GENERAL INFORMATION ONLY, and does NOT establish an Attorney/Client Relationship with you. You have not provided me with all the facts in a consultation, therefore my answer cannot address your specific legal situation and you should not rely upon my answer in your legal matter. I am an attorney licensed in Maryland and California.
Below are the factors the court considers when determining a custody arrangement for children:
Primary Care Giver - Who is the person who takes care of the child? Who feeds the child, shops for their clothes, gets them up for school, bathes them, and arranges day care? Who does the child turn to when they get hurt?
Fitness - What are the psychological and physical capacities of the parties seeking custody? The court may also consider evidence of abuse by a party against the other parent, the party's spouse, or any child residing within the party's household (including another child).
Character and Reputation
Agreements - Is there a custody agreement already in place?
Ability to Maintain Family Relationships - Who will be best able to help the child keep family relationships? Who is going to let the child speak with their ex-mother-in-law, for example? Who will not penalize the child for any bad action on the part of the other parent?
Child Preference - The decision of the court may be reversed on appeal if the judge will not hear the child's preference. However, the judge may choose to interview the child outside the presence of the parents. Though it is rare, the court will hear froma child under 7 years, and a child as young as 5 or 6 years of age may be heard. The child's maturity, and whether the child can tell the truth from fiction will guide the decision whether a child may be heard. A child of at least 10 or 12 years of age is certainly entitled to have their opinions heard and given weight in legal proceedings about custody. Additionally, the court has the power to appoint an attorney for the child in contested cases.
Material Opportunity - Which parent has the financial resources to give the child more things?
Age, Health and Gender of Child
Residences of Parents and Opportunity for Visitation - How close do the parents live to each other? How close do they live to members of the child's extended family? Which parent lives closest to the child's school and social circle?
Length of Separation- how long has the parent been separated from the child?
Any Prior Abandonment or Surrender of Custody - Is there a history of one parent walking out and leaving the other parent to cope with the child and the home? Which parent left when you last broke up?
this is general information and not providing specific legal advise nor is it creating an attorney/client privilege nor an attorney/client relationship.
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