Talk to the employer's attorney. they know how.
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1. You can't do anything. The paperwork is the property of the company .. their employer is the proper person to file the proper papers.
2. No, the company's immigration attorney is the proper person to file papers .. you can't.
3. Even if approved it won't be 'your' H-1B ... it will be the property of the company.
4. You can't file the withdrawal papers. As for ESTA, perhaps ... there are other factors.
Talk to an immigration lawyer in private ... after you have talked to the company's immigration attorney ... not some non-attorney in HR.
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1, 2. Only an employer can do so.
J Charles Ferrari Eng & Nishimura 213.622.2255 The statement above is general in nature and does not constitute legal advice, as not all the facts are known. You should retain an attorney to review all the facts specific to your case in order to receive advise specific to your case. The statement above does not create an attorney/client relationship. Answers on Avvo can only be general ones, as specific answers would require knowledge of all the facts. As such, they may or may not apply to the question.