If you are concerned for the safety of your children then you should call the police and/or the Division of Child Protection and Permanency.
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It is not easy to answer this question, and you really should speak with an attorney. You will need to prove to the Court that the mother is not capable of being a full-time parent. If she has been diagnosed, then you will need to try to get copies of the medical records and diagnoses and provide them to the Court. This can be difficult to do. You, and your 21 year old, will need to be prepared to testify if the Court schedules a plenary hearing. A complete answer to your question is beyond the scope of this forum.
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I agree with my colleagues. You prove it by medical records and medical testimony. You also prove it by other witnesses. At a trial the judge could interview the child.
Please be advised my answers to questions does not constitute legal advise and you should not rely on it, due to the fact that we have never met, I have not been aprised of the facts in you case nor have I reviewed any documents.
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