A personal injury attorney that handles wrongful death cases is the person who can best answer any questions about damages!
In no way am I offering you legal advice, and in no way has my comment created an attorney-client relationship. You are not to rely upon my note above in any way, but insted need to sit down with counsel and share all relevant facts before receiving fully-informed legal advice. If you want to be completely sure of your rights, you must sit down with an experienced criminal defense attorney to be fully aware of your rights.
In most states, there are two stages that the beneficiaries of an estate go through: the lawsuit against the wrongdoer (where a jury or judge awards damages, including non-economic damages) and the probate process (where a probate judge distributes the estate, including the money awarded in the wrongful death lawsuit). From your description, it sounds like you're in the first stage. If so, the focus should be on obtaining the most non-economic damages that can be awarded - don't focus on the individual family members who didn't treat their mother very well. When the time comes (in the second stage, with the probate court), you will be able to challenge whether some of the kids deserve a significant portion of the estate.
Sign up to receive a 3-part series of useful information and advice about personal injury law.