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How to get complected divorce ?????????

Beaverton, OR |

I am married to a person who hordes everything she can see, our house looks like Hillsboro landfill recycling place ( no exaggeration) . I would have divorced her a long time ago, but we have 8 year old daughter. My wife said if we get divorced I would rarely be allowed to see my child and only with her permission. My child is the only reason we live in the same house. It would have been much easier for me and my child to have a clean suitable and peaceful home. I am not trying to take child away from the mother, I am just looking for way out. My wife is never home she is always busy shopping, collecting goodwill goodies, going to all kinds of meeting, garage sales, spending time with others, and comes home at a very late hour. My daughter is everything I have. Please Help ?

Besides school I spend most of the time with my daughter taking her to swimming classes, doing homework with her, spending time at playground, basically she is always with me. Before I received threats from my wife If I was to divorce I would have to go through a lot of trouble just to see my child, she said she will take custody of a child and will make sure to restrict contact with my daughter . I am afraid that she might provide false statements against me, and I would not be able to see my child. She gets very, very angry when I offer to seek professional help to fix our marriage. Please Help ??????

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Best Answer

Your wife doesn't have the power to unilaterally deny you contact with your daughter, unless you let her have it. When parents divorce or otherwise can't agree on a child's custody, Oregon law favors granting both parents regular frequent contact with the child, to ensure that both relationships remain strong. Neither the mother nor the father is favored in custody decisions because of their gender. (There is a presumption in favor of the "primary custodial parent," which is usually, but not always, the mother, in our society, due to the basic facts of biology or the nature of our social institutions; pick according to your prejudices.) More importantly, courts strongly disapprove of parents trying to keep their children away from the other parent, or using a child to threaten their co-parents. You may be able to get custody of your daughter; you can certainly ensure that you'll remain in her life. If you want a divorce, which it sounds like you do, you should consult in private with a family law attorney. You can read more about these laws here:

Please read the following notice: <br> <br> Jay Bodzin is licensed to practice law in the State of Oregon and the Federal District of Oregon, and cannot give advice about the laws of other jurisdictions. All comments on this site are intended for informational purposes only, and do not constitute legal advice or create an attorney-client relationship. No posts or comments on this site are in any way confidential. Each case is unique. You are advised to have counsel at all stages of any legal proceeding, and to speak with your own lawyer in private to get advice about your specific situation. <br> <br> Jay Bodzin, Northwest Law Office, 2075 SW First Avenue, Suite 2J, Portland, OR 97201 | Telephone: 503-227-0965 | Facsimile: 503-345-0926 | Email: | Online:


You need to invest in a consultation with a divorce attorney to determine your chance to get custody. But, if you don't get custody, you WILL get significant parenting time if you live in Washington County. Stop being afraid of her and find out just where you really stand. Good luck.

Be sure to designate "best answer." If you live in Oregon, you may call me for more detailed advice, 503-650-9662. Please be aware that each answer on this website is based upon the facts, or lack thereof, provided in the question. To be sure you get complete and comprehensive answers, based upon the totality of your situation, contact a local attorney who specializes in the area of law that involves your legal problem. Diane L. Gruber has been practicing law in Oregon for 26 years, specializing in family law, bankruptcy, estate planning and probate. Note: Diane L. Gruber does not represent you until a written fee agreement has been signed by you and Diane L. Gruber, and the fee listed in the agreement has been paid.


Puzzled somewhat here. You make a compelling case to have custody of your daughter but don't to get her out there. You'll get time with your her.YYour wife won't be able to stop it.

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There is a lot an attorney can get done for your right away, but you have to make the decision to pick up the phone. You sound very involved in your daughter's life and for that reason you would be a good candidate for a custodial parent. Contrary to popular belief, being the custodial parent does not effectively "take the child away" from the other parent. Both parents are entitled to reasonable parenting time. Contact me for a consultation and I can tell you want a reasonable arrangement would be in your circumstance.

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