The courthouse can't give you legal advice. You aren't required to have a lawyer to file for custody but the people who work in the courthouse can't tell you how to do it. You can look at my website to get more information and there are other good websites out there that can help you. Typically, grandparents cannot file for custody in North Carolina unless there is an ongoing custody action between you and your husband. Given the issues in your case, I do recommend that you talk with an attorney before agreeing to do anything.
I agree with the advice you received from my colleague. You can find helpful information on my website as well. Another website that has quite a bit of free information is www.rosen.com.
I also agree with the advice given about consulting with an attorney when you are trying to involve anyone outside of the parents in a custody agreement.
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