I think the Judge's statement is directed at you and your ex. When parents can't get along, or dispute what is best for the children, the courts are a poor resource to resolve the problems. Unless there is a danger to the children, it is unlikely that the court will alter the custody arranement.
Children typically want to live where they think it will be easier on them. Right now, that may seem like its with you. But, you would be expected to provide an evironment that doesn't jeopardize their grades or put at risk or leave them unsupervised, just like the mother. My suggestion is to talk with your children, let them know that you are always available, but at this time they need to come to terms with their living arrangements.
You should talk with you ex to try to arrange more time with the boys but not in an attempt to stop paying support. You need to understand that your complaints are heard a million times in court by parents using their children against each other, and allegations about the motivations of child support is used against both parents.
Understand that the children's wishes are not that important to the court, the court is concerned with what is in their best interests. A 10 year old is too young to decide and the 15 1/2 year old is more likely to manipulate the system. That is why the court won't let them be heard.
If the home environment is dangerous then request home evaluations be conducted. I assume that such have already occurred and there was not any recommendation that the children be removed from custody with their mother.Ask a similar question
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