His parental rights will never go away on their own. His supporter rears will continue to build. He cannot just walk in and out every child's life with that many months in between, you could insist that he return to court and go through some kind of reunification therapy if he comes back.
But his obligation to pay and his rights to see are not something that expire if they're not used. It does not work that way. You cannot voluntarily terminate parental rights in New Jersey, whether by word or deed.
If you get married, your husband can adopt the child, and if the X agrees and does not fight it, that would relieve the ex of all support and all support arrears, and would terminate his rights to see the child. But outside of DYFS action, or an adoption, the rights will remain.
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Biological father can consent to adoption by your fiancée. Then you can procede.
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You cannot have his rights eliminated/terminated merely by the passage of time. He would have to voluntarily surrender them in favor of someone, through court proceedings.
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The best way for his rights to be terminated is if he consents to your fiance adopting your child. If you fiance seeks to adopt, you can file a complaint for adoption but you must provide notice to the father. If the father doesn't object your adoption would likely proceed, if not it becomes contested. Then the judge would have to rule that the other parent is unfit to perform the duties expected of a parent. See N.J.S.A. 9:3-46. As always, you should discuss this with a family-law attorney. For instance, child-support obligations cease once a child is adopted, although from what you write, this might not be too important.
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I don't believe his rights will disappear. Certainly your ability to pursue child support from him doesn't go away. You need to seek counsel regarding the adoption procedure and the steps that must be taken.
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