I was dating another airman who was married but had filled out the change of status paperwork saying she was separated. She talked to some leadership who had talked to the commander and they were fine with us dating as long as we kept it professional at work. Her husband called the commander and now there is a no contact order in place for both of us indefinitely. How long do you think that will be in place? The divorce is in the process but will probably take a while for the child custody and division of assets, etc. Will we have to wait until the divorce is finalized? Is there anyway to get it lifted sooner?
1) Absolutely, positively, resist any temptation to disobey the order. Both of you will be subject to UCMJ action under Article 92 in addition to Art. 134 for adultery (recently changed to "extramarital sexual conduct").
2) Talk to your chain, request open door policy, but absolutely get it in writing if the order is rescinded. The written rescission of the order should come from someone of equal or greater rank than the person who issued it. To be clear: your NCO, regardless of rank, verbally telling you "its all good" is insufficient. Note that even if the direct order is somehow withdrawn, you still could face admin or UCMJ action for extramarital sexual conduct until she is no longer married.
3) Both of you face UCMJ action for extramarital sexual relations, even if you are not married; you know she is.
4) You likely won't get the order lifted until her divorce is finalized, so you might want to save face until then.
5) Hope that your command isn't already planning admin or UCMJ action. If they are, consider consulting with a non-USAF civilian military defense counsel.
If you like to read, see page IV-144 of the Manual for Court-Martial:
This is not legal advice. I am not your lawyer unless you contact me off of Avvo and we mutually enter into an attorney-client relationship. Consult your branch's legal services office, or contact a civilian military defense attorney if you need legal advice to rely on to make decisions.
There is no practical time limit on a no contact order.
Mr. Stanfield is a military trial lawyer that represents Servicemembers around the world. All responses provided are for informational purposes only and are not personal legal advice and do not create an attorney-client relationship. Additional information is available on his website at https://stanfieldlawoffice.com/
Until the divorce is finalized, stay away. Even if your commander lifts the no-contact order (which he should not)... stay away. Your commander does not have the authority to grant permission to violate the UCMJ (and would never give you that permission in writing unless s/he was trying to get kicked out themself).
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