Even attorneys have to deal with overly zealous attorneys at times. It does not sound like this attorney is doing anything unethical or at least you won't be able to prove it. He owes you no duties, as if he were your own attorney. I agree that you can stand up to him, or just ignore what the attorney is saying and have confidence in your own position and skills. Good luck.
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The judge in the courtroom is your ally and will will determine what is over the line.
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This is a fairly loaded/biased question, but the short answer is that what you call "demeaning" or "bullying" another lawyer may consider "zealous advocacy." While those sorts of determinations are up to the arbiter of your dispute (and, ultimately, an ethics board if you file a complaint), understand that very few legal issues have bright line, black-letter rules, including this one, so it's impossible for me (or any other lawyer) to tell you exactly where the line is. (Not to mention, there's an infinite number of things any person could say, so to run through all the iterations is an exercise in futility).
The simple answer is say something to him. Bullies don't like people who stand up for themselves. If that doesn't work, send a golden rule letter to him, certified mail. If that doesn't work, say something to the judge, and if that doesn't work, file an ethics complaint. Do all of this in writing. I think you'll find that following the process generally works.
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