I agree with your lawyer.
But there is nothing the military can do. They cannot order him to comply or not comply with legal process.
Now, on the finances that's a different matter.
You can complain to his command. He does have a duty to take care of his family. Of course in the process your lawyer could mention the litigation difficulty.
The military takes a strong interest in child support obligations. He may actually be committing fraud if he gets housing allowance but isn't using it to help support you and the children.
If there is suspected fraud it can also be turned over to Army CID, NCIS, or OSI depending on which base he is at.
email@example.com 703-298-9562, 800-401-1583. Answering your question does not create an attorney-client relationship.
Have your attorney review the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act's provision on Default Judgments and appointment of attorneys ad litem.
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