It's simple: hire a lawyer. Given experience and what you've posted, you're probably looking at nominal costs.
What's stopping you?
No need to talk to your husband about getting a divorce. Simply file a petition for dissolution of marriage. Your husband will have to answer to the judge. If you hire an attorney, you will never have to speak directly to him. Your attorney can handle the negotiations for you. The judge and the law will protect you. Please don't be afraid. It seems as if you have Waited a very long time to file for divorce. Don't wait any longer.
Look to hire an attorney who can be your guide and advocate in this matter. Make sure the attorney lays out a potential strategy or mode to resolution in accordance with your own goals.
Any answers or information provided is for general information purposes only and is not intended to be a legal opinion, legal advice or a complete discussion of the legal issues. This is not intended to create a attorney-client relationship. Each individual's situation is different and you should seek independent legal advice from an attorney familiar with the laws of your state for specific information.
You don't need to have a conversation with him before you file. In case you have the resources, you can hire an attorney to represent you through the whole matter. You'll have someone in your corner for the fight. If you can't afford full representation, you might want to check out some legal aid providers, or attorneys who offer unbundled legal services.
Best to you.
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Whether he is evil or not- is willing to talk or not, you get a divorce by filing for one. I would ensure that he is properly served in case he doesn't bother to show up and you end up with a default divorce (which has happened in many of my cases with spouses who refuse to open mail) etc. Hire an attorney and move forward.
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