During the course of the marriage, where did you and your husband reside? If he will agree to jurisdiction in Virginia, then you still must have evidence for the Court to determine that Virginia IS the proper state in which to file the action. You DO have the right to file against him in New York, since that is where he lives. It will all depend on whether he is willing to submit to the jurisdiction of Virginia or not.
Jurisdictional questions are usually not for a layman to try to resolve for a Court: if you can get him to sign a Marital and Property Settlement Agreement in which he agrees that jurisdiction is proper in Virginia, and will file an Answer and Waiver in Virginia, unless you have that fact that Virginia was the home-state for both of you during your marriage, you're probably still going to have to file in Virginia (and you would file in the Circuit Court- NOT Probate Court, and not the Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court). The only other way would be for him to come to Virginia, and tell the judge in person that he is in agreement with the divorce occurring here in Virginia, which would constitute a waiver of any jurisdictional challenges.
Legal issues often depend on the specific facts in any given case or situation. Please do NOT utilize the information you receive as either a binding legal opinion in your case, nor presume that I am your counsel because I've answered a question you had. Any legal representation is accomplished by written contract ONLY, signed by each of us.
You can go to your local probate/divorce court and the clerk will give you the forms. Many times they are online as are the instructions. Good luck and take care.
Legal disclaimer: The response given is not intended to create, nor does it create an ongoing duty to respond to questions. The response does not form an attorney-client relationship, nor is it intended to be anything other than the educated opinion of the author. It should not be relied upon as legal advice. The response given is based upon the limited facts provided by the person asking the question. To the extent additional or different facts exist, the response might possibly change. Attorney is licensed to practice law only in the State of Massachusetts. Responses are based solely on Massachusetts law unless stated otherwise.