You may be missing the point. Why is it that you are so steadfastly looking to convince him and he is not equally as eagar looking for the answer or the solution to eliminate this concern. Attorneys are not psychologist. Three simple rules:
1) Don't take out joint debt so he controls his indebtedness and future default could expose his assets.
2) Don't put his money into joint accounts since any funds placed in there by him would be considered yours also.
3) Don't put his money into joint property since it can be levy liened or garnished.
It is unfortunate that he is concern about his money more than your marriage. It is more unfortunate that you are looking for the solution and not he. Sorry to be so blunt.
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Once he deposits money into your account it becomes your money. In MO, i could foresee circumstances in which one of your creditors might depose you & learn of the source of these gifts & conceivablly [attempt?] to depose him.
On learning the funds are his separate property, the lender/IRS does not have a means--again I speak of MO--to force the spigot to be turned on to slake the thirst of your creditors.
One MO exception:the doctrine of necessities (a/k/a "necessaries), but that was not part of your recital of facts.
Have him talk to the atty alone, if you can get him to go...
Forgive me for being blunt with you, but I think you have mis-characterized the problem. Your fiance is sufficiently sophisticated to have identified the issue, and to have defined concerns that remain after learning of the advice that you have received. He is not posting here about how to insulate his assets from your creditors, although he may well have privately sought legal or financial advice on the issue. It seems clear to me that he is not prepared to marry you at this moment, and this "reason" is as good a statement of that as any. So, there isn't much that an attorney or financial planner -- here on Avvo or even privately consulted -- can do for you.
I suggest that you back-off of the issue and let things evolve between you. When (if) he really wants to get married, he will be willing to accept and rely on the legal advice and planning that will resolve his concerns.Until then, you are fighting on a false front.
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Any financial circumstance can be worked through if he was serious about getting married to you by a good financial planner. Any. He is not a co-signer on the debt and there are simple precautions to that that will make sure he is 100% protected; there is simply no reason for him to worry about it.
If he is more worried about an extremely slight and easily-mitigated risk to his inheritance than making you happy by marrying you, perhaps you two should have a more wide-ranging discussion about your future?
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