Very good questions, your friend needs to work wtih her attorney and make a time line of what has occured and all of the things her husband has done to frustrate the process and file a motion for expenses against him, if this starts costing him money he will stop it.
Unfortunately, there's no magic wand in this situation. If the case really has been going on for five years, you're getting close to breaking some records in Somerset County.
I suspect there's some intransigence on both sides - she's asking for things he's not willing to give. Any case would resolve if she just said "fine - what do you want?" (I'm not suggesting she do that, but it takes two to keep a case going).
Best thing I can suggest is that, if he really is putting forth frivolous and litigious positions, you need to hope a judge will see it at the end of the day and require that he pay her counsel fees. I also suggest (including to my own clients!) that it's never a bad idea to get a second opinion when a case is getting out of hand. Meet with another good attorney and see if a fresh look / perspective might ave suggestions to move the case to completion more quickly.
Your friend really needs to consult with an attorney familiar with family law because I never heard of a divorce taking 5 years these days in New Jersey.
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