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How can I stop my ex from excluding me from decisions and from signing my daughter up for events during my scheduled visit?

Castro Valley, CA |

I already have joint legal custody. But my ex signs my daughter up for sports, classes and doctors appointments during my scheduled visits all the time . She also has my daughter call me to ask to switch weekends for a social event and makes me the bad guy if I say no so I usually say yes. But last time she refused visitation on the agreed upon weekend and said its not contempt because it was a verbal agreement. When I ask for her doctor or therapist number she refuses to give it to me. She also has frequently refused to send her ADHD meds and when she does she only sends her with half of the prescribed dose. She does her best to exclude me and make me insignificant. Anytime we go to court the judge doesn't pay any attention to the facts I present and gives her anything she wants.

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Attorney answers 2


You can present your Court order/judgment to the doctors/school/etc re appointments/events, and stop the events. You will not be able to avoid looking like the "bad guy" but that is what parenting is all about. You will not be rewarded for many years to come.
Present the court orders, and stand your ground.
Good luck!

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I agree with Nadine Jett. It sounds like you’re getting manipulated by your ex and your child. This is not a reasonable basis to establish ongoing good relationship with either one of them.

You definitely need to have some contact with your child’s therapist to understand what’s going on in her life to some degree, and what meds she takes and for what purpose.

These go to the fundamentals of the parenting, and something you can accomplish one way or another would be through court order, hopefully not, or through someone’s cooperation.

I hope this was helpful.

John N. Kitta

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