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How can I prove my ex-wife is lying in family court and gain more custody?

Cerritos, CA |

My ex-wife and I went to court in February for our 8-year old daughter, where the judge ordered 3 phone calls a week, and 2-hour visits every Sunday (I was in the military so away for 4 years). My ex has controlled each step, sitting right next to my daughter and telling her it's okay if she doesn't want to talk to me. She also informs her of court proceedings. She is also present at the visits. We went back to court for review today, and she lied about everything. She told the judge that my daughter asks to leave our visits, that I am stalking her, and that I was late for each visit and phone call. None of these facts are true. The judge listened to her, and agreed to keep our same visitation schedule. I don't have money for a lawyer. I just want to see my daughter more, and unsupervised.

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Attorney answers 2

Posted

A lot of family issues can be dealt with informally, and a lot do not require legal help. This one will. If one spouse is not truthful, then there is often an underlying disorder or issue that must be brought to the surface.

I am unclear why your visits are supervised - your job in the military alone, even being away for four years, is not a cause for supervision. Whatever the reason underlying the supervision order, deal with it. Get counseling, anger management, or whatever the particular concern calls for in the way of help for you. Completion of programs, completion of counseling, that is hard evidence that a judge will consider and give more weight than the he-said, she-said stories the judge is hearing now.

Asker

Posted

The visitations are not technically "supervised." My ex asked if she could be present at the visits, and the judge said he doesn't see a problem with that. She is insisting that our daughter is fearful of me, yet there is no reason for her to be. We never had any domestic violence. I have been absent for 4 years and she has consistently told our daughter that I am a stranger. This is not a matter that can be solved informally; my ex-wife will not speak with me outside of messages through our daughter. She sees me as a threat, jealous and angry that we got divorced.

Erin Patricia Farley

Erin Patricia Farley

Posted

I am so sorry. It might be unintentional, but it sounds like Mom is somehow (even unconsciously) conveying negative messages about you to your daughter. This needs to be addressed immediately - children see themselves as 1/2 each parent, so if Mom is negative about you, it is the same as directly derogating your little girl. Would the ex consent to co-parent counseling? If not, ask for it at the next hearing. You urgently need legal help - even an hour's consultation would help tremendously in preparing a plan. I do not know when you two split - but emotions should settle after two years. If you two have been separated for four, and this is still going on, you will have to be extra careful and watch your back because there is more going on than jealousy and anger. It takes a while for the court to catch on; in the meantime, you keep rising above the conflict and focus on your daughter. She will get it. I wish you the best.

Asker

Posted

I appreciate your help. We have actually been separated for 6 years total, we have been divorced for 4. My ex has been angry with me since our divorce, insisting that our daughter does not need me or my family. She would not agree to co-parent counseling. As it is, she does not want me involved at all. Our daughter is seeing a therapist; she refuses to give me the information even after the judge ordered. I will be contacting a few attorneys in my area for a consultation of my case. Thank you so much for your help.

Posted

Honesty you should do whatever you can to hire an attorney who can advocate for you and get you the visitation you are entitled to. You need someone to properly counter her improper conduct and deliberate attempts to alienate you from your daughter. Please feel free to call me at 818-646-5300 or visit my website at www.taubfamilylaw.com for a free consultation.

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