You ask "what trained and educated attorney would refuse" your request for oral argument??? Answer: A well-trained and well-educated attorney. You are acting naive. Do you really expect the attorney to give you any benefit which may work to his client's disadvantage? Come on, that's not the real world. But here's an answer you can use: Stop asking this attorney for oral argument. It's not up to him. It's up to the judge. Ask the judge. File a motion requesting oral argument. Most judges give pro se litigants a lot of extra rope. Just make sure you don't hang yourself. Hiring a lawyer to assist you wouldn't be a bad idea. Good luck!
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You need to contact the court and ask them how to request a hearing for your motion. Opposing counsel will not help you. Good luck.
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Unless you are at the appellate level, there is no such thing as requesting "oral argument." The normal course of events is for one side to file a motion asking the court to do something. Then they call the other side and ask for a range of dates they would be available for scheduling a hearing on the motion they filed. The other side provides available dates and then you contact the court and schedule a hearing on the motion. At that hearing you get to tell the court why your motion should be granted, then the other side gets to argue why you are wrong and the motion should be denied.
You do not have to get permission to have a hearing, but there does have to be some communication. Even seasoned lawyers run into the problem you are having. The difference is, we know what to do next because it's not our first rodeo. But, the very first time it happened to each one of us, we were just like you. It's call experience and you need to hire some.
This is not legal advice. Think of this as what you would recieve from a wise uncle. And remember, you have never believed everything your uncle told you either. With free advice you generally get what you pay for.