Please consider seeking out the services of a qualified mental health counselor to assist you in coming to terms with this concern. It is clear that this matter is preying on you and that you do not have the resources on your own to simply deal with it constructively and move on in your life. There are many kinds of expertise that may be needed over the course of life. Sometimes lawyers. Sometimes doctors. This is one of those doctor matters.
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Go to your local juvenile courthouse (or the juvenile courthouse of where you think the charges would have been filed) and ask the court clerk to do a records check. Make sure to bring a valid government issued ID, as juvenile records are confidential. Good luck, and I hope that will calm your fears and concerns.