My 7 year old daughter is wanting to change her last name so that is the same as the rest of our family. She cries all the time about how she feels like she doesn't belong to our family. When she was born I did not know who her father was, so I gave her my maiden name. Her "daddy" now has been her daddy since she was 2, so he is all she has ever known.
You have two options: (1) Petition for a name change & ascertain a court order and/or (2) file a petition for a step-father adoption.
This has to go through the court. The court will likely assign an attorney to try to find the father and resolve that issue.
Knowledge is power. Hire a professional to listen to all of the facts and help you make informed decisions.
You can potentially do a step-parent adoption. Under the family code there may be an opening to proceed without involving the bio dad that you cannot identify, assuming the bio dad did not file with the paternity registry and your child is over 1 year in age. You need to contact a family Attorney to determine your best options.
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